I explore the concept of "dead people goals" and why they’re harmful to your progress in overcoming pornography. I share examples of common dead people goals, and how to reframe your goals in a healthier, more achievable way.
When it comes to overcoming unwanted porn use, how I often see my clients starting out this journey is with force. They approach this work by trying to intensely change who they are, making themselves comply with guilt and shame, and this simply doesn’t ever work in their favor. Instead, this week, I’m inviting you to imagine that you’re healing a broken wound with love and patience. The root cause of porn use is different for everyone. Some start using it after a bad divorce or to deal with stress, and for others, it’s a lack of self-trust or a history of trauma. And in every case, healing is the answer. Tune in this week as I show you how healing is the key to getting to the root of your porn habit. Overcoming pornography is not something you can force yourself through, and I’m showing you the reason so many people start here, and how it halts your progress. If you’ve been thinking about joining Overcome Pornography for Good, this is your chance to sign up! We’ve got an amazing marriage and pornography call with our trauma expert, Lindsay Poehlman, a new workshop called How to Have Difficult Conversations with our relationship expert, and so much more in February, so you don’t want to miss out!
Why does the habit of viewing porn cause so much pain and suffering? Does trying to overcome it feel like an obsession? What does OCD have to do with porn use? And how might you identify if OCD is present for you?
Jessica Farmer is back on the show to answer this week’s Ask a Coach question! The question goes, “Do you have any tips on not getting fed up or burnt out from all the urge processing?” If you also feel completely tired and overwhelmed, or find yourself falling into resistance rather than allowing your urges to view porn, listen in to hear Jessica’s answers.
