Episode 249: Understanding and Healing the Two Sides of Shame with Kat
Shame is one of the biggest barriers to change, but what if understanding where it comes from could help you finally release it? We often see shame as something that lives only inside of us, but it actually has two sides: the external messages we’ve absorbed from the world around us, and the internalized beliefs that shape how we see ourselves.
In this episode, coach Kat Jenkins explores how these two layers of shame work together to keep you stuck in cycles of disconnection and self-criticism. You’ll learn how external systems like family, culture, or religion can plant messages of conditional worth, and how those messages take root internally as self-judgment and fear of rejection. Once you can recognize both sides, you gain the awareness to begin healing.
You’ll hear practical ways to start releasing shame by questioning where it came from, choosing what to let go of, and learning to respond with compassion instead of criticism. Kat also shares somatic tools to help calm your body when shame arises so you can feel grounded, safe, and open to connection again.
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What You'll Learn from this Episode:
How shame exists as both an external message and an internalized belief.
The difference between guilt and shame.
How external systems can teach conditional belonging and internal self-blame.
Why the nervous system freezes in response to shame and how to calm it.
How to identify whose voice your inner critic really belongs to.
Somatic practices for releasing shame and creating internal safety.
Ways to build self-compassion and reestablish connection with yourself.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
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