Overcome Pornography for Good with Sara Brewer | Is Watching Porn Considered Cheating?

Episode 234: Is Watching Porn Considered Cheating?

July 14, 20252 min read

Is watching porn considered cheating? It’s a question many people wrestle with, and the answer isn’t black and white. In this episode, I explore the emotional complexities surrounding pornography use in committed relationships and how it intersects with infidelity, betrayal, and sexual boundaries. I dive into how personal values, inherited beliefs, and unspoken agreements shape how we view fidelity.

I discuss how infidelity isn’t defined by specific actions, but rather by breaking agreements and trust. Whether it’s the use of porn or another behavior, what matters is the agreements made within the relationship and how those agreements are communicated. I also talk about the impact of purity culture on our beliefs around sexuality and offer a new perspective on monogamy and sexual freedom.

Through this conversation, you’ll gain insights on navigating difficult conversations, co-creating agreements with your partner, and understanding the role of shame and fear in shaping sexual beliefs. If you’re struggling with porn use or your partner’s, this episode provides a roadmap for moving forward with clarity and compassion.

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If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment toward quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara!  

What You'll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why infidelity is about breaking agreements, not specific actions like watching porn.

  • How purity culture influences beliefs about sex and fidelity.

  • The critical difference between betrayal trauma and porn use itself.

  • What’s happening under the surface of porn use and how to address it.

  • Why lying about porn use causes more harm than the porn itself.

  • How to shift from controlling your partner to collaborating on boundaries.

  • Questions to ask yourself and your partner about sexual boundaries and trust.

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If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment toward quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me!

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Sara Brewer is a certified life and trauma-informed coach. She has helped over a thousand people quit porn through her coaching programs and tens of thousands through her highly-rated podcast, Overcome Pornography for Good.

Sara shares her story in her free webinars, but the simple version is that she saw shame's role in compulsive pornography use, and after developing a process focused on addressing shame as the root, her clients saw amazing success. This is why The Center for Overcoming Pornography exists.

Sara Brewer

Sara Brewer is a certified life and trauma-informed coach. She has helped over a thousand people quit porn through her coaching programs and tens of thousands through her highly-rated podcast, Overcome Pornography for Good. Sara shares her story in her free webinars, but the simple version is that she saw shame's role in compulsive pornography use, and after developing a process focused on addressing shame as the root, her clients saw amazing success. This is why The Center for Overcoming Pornography exists.

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