Episode 19: Sexual Shame

By: Sara Brewer

Published on: 01/09/2024

Sometimes when people are new to me, they wonder how I can be sex-positive while also helping people quit their porn habit. So, I think it’s important to dive into this a little bit today because shame around sexuality is the one thing that keeps most people going back to pornography time and time again. Sexual shame is this feeling of profound responsibility and deep remorse that is experienced associated with thoughts and fantasies about sex. And especially if you’re from a conservative religious background, this might affect you more than others. And you guys know that I’m very spiritual and religious, so I’m going to speak to you in that light throughout this episode. Join me on the podcast this week to discover where our sexual shame comes from, and why no matter how much of it you feel, it’s never going to help you quit viewing porn or anything else. Instead, I’m sharing where to focus if you want to quit porn, and giving you some reasons that work for my clients, rather than trying to quit because they’re ashamed of themselves.

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Episode 17: What to Do When You Slip Up

By: Sara Brewer

Published on: 27/08/2024

I messed up again…” I get messages from clients and listeners all the time saying something along these lines. People are confused about why it happened, and then they have difficulty processing the emotion that they experience after slipping up and viewing porn. If this sounds familiar, it’s time we get curious so that it’s less likely to happen in the future. The truth is that how you react after slipping up is going to have a huge impact on whether you can quit pornography for good. So, if you think you’ve tried everything but you still find yourself going back to porn, I want you to listen in closely today as we question this thought that you’ve tried everything, and we come up with a plan that works for you and moves you forward in quitting this habit. Join me on the podcast this week to discover what to do when you slip up. I’m discussing how to be the observer of what led to you viewing porn in the first place, and giving you questions so you can process the guilt that comes up for you before it turns into shame and self-loathing.

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Episode 21: Urge Flow

By: Sara Brewer

Published on: 25/08/2024

Today I want to share with you a principle that has helped me so much in my own life, and also it’s the thing my clients say has helped them the most in overcoming their porn habit. In fact, every time I get a comment on the podcast or an email from a listener who is struggling, I always know that this principle is the one thing that would change their life. The concept I’m talking about today is that in all of life, every aspect of it is 50% positive and 50% negative. Whatever stage of life you’re in, you’re always going to be happy half the time, and sad half the time. People think that when they get married, get a new job, new car, whatever, they think they’re going to be happier. You’re not. But trust me, this is actually the best news ever because once you embrace the 50-50 of life, you can start enjoying all of it. Join me on the podcast this week to discover the principle of 50-50, and how understanding it will be key in overcoming pornography for good. I’m sharing where there is indisputable evidence that life is 50% positive and 50% negative, and how embracing it has changed my life and so many of my clients’ lives.

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Episode 22: Commitment Vs Motivation

By: Sara Brewer

Published on: 25/08/2024

When quitting porn, we often think we need discipline or commitment, as well as motivation. And a lot of people think these are actually the same things. But the truth is, motivation is not required. And if that sounds counterintuitive, you really need to listen in today. Motivation doesn’t get you anywhere. Motivation doesn’t last, and truthfully, waiting on motivation will keep you from doing anything big, meaningful, or important with your life, and that includes quitting pornography. What you need is more commitment, and in this episode, I’m showing you how to cultivate the discipline and commitment required to change your pornography usage. Join me on the podcast this week to discover the difference between commitment and motivation. I’m sharing my own story of cultivating more commitment and discipline in my life, and how you can apply this experience to reach your goal of overcoming pornography. This isn’t going to be easy, but it will be so worth it.

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Episode 19: Sexual Shame

Episode 17: What to Do When You Slip Up

Episode 21: Urge Flow

Episode 22: Commitment Vs Motivation

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